Like most people, I've also undergone the adolescence stage of feeling misinterpreted and misjudged. When society tells you that you are such and such when you know you are not, you have that sudden burst of anger and frustration. You rebuke and shout, "Don't judge me cause you aint me."
But can we really tell society "don't judge"? No matter what you do, there will be eyes watching, ears listening, and minds thinking. The truth is, our minds process billions of things so when it sees another person, it is just natural to simplify one person into a stereotype. (Ok, i just made that up but you get the point.) I believe it is innate for human beings, which are thinking creatures, to pass judgements and perceptions towards fellow human beings.
Tell me you've never misjudged anyone before and I'll give you a double slap in the face.
The judgee.
I guess you've heard this before but I just want to reiterate it. People are going to judge you no matter what. It is up to you if you're going to let it dictate your life. If you really care what people think about you but you do not want them to continue viewing you as such, then it is up to you to prove them wrong. Reach out to them. Show them you are not what they perceive to be. Now, if you don't care (really, there's someone who does not care?), then just shake it off and continue doing what you're doing and present society your middlefinger.
The judger.
When you hear the word stereotype, negative connotations are always attached to it; however, I think stereotypes are useful (especially in marketing fast moving consumer goods). Admitt it, although not everyone fit their stereotype, a majority or at least a large number of people still fit their group's stereotype. Stereotypes are not made out of nowhere.
When we deal with new people, I guess it is normal to have preconceived notions of them based on their gender, race, age, reputation, etc. Now, it is up to us (the judger) if we let that stereotype hold until the end. Are you the type of person whose first impression on another hang on until the end or are you the type who holds a stereotype at the start but eventually tries to get to know the other person?
Let us not trouble ourselves by trying to defend against people judging because chances are, you'll lose. People judge. That's what separates us from animals who "think" they are all the same. As judging people also, we should be open-minded and not believe that our perception on others are accurate right away. Let's get to know each other. :D
So I present you this funny video from Yourfavoritemartian.
Don't try to defend. Just smile and take that dirt off your shoulder.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Art of Competing - Pinoy Style
I once saw a billboard with the tagline, "Fit in. Stand out." (I think it was Jag Jeans) This seems contradictory and impossible. How can you fit in when you stand out? But at a deeper look, this aptly describes how Filipinos behave in a group.
Fit in.
As I mentioned in a previous entry, we have a collectivist culture wherein the group should be the first priority over the individual. Thus, we try to deflect attention (unless you're Kris Aquino or KSP) and pretend that we are not all that.
In school, how many times did you hear someone say, "I did not study. I'm so dead." Then you find out he got an A in the exam. Or how many times have you praised someone for being talented and the response will be, "Hindi naman. (Not really)" Or how many times did you hear well-off people use self-depracating statements.
More often than not, these people who "try to look humble" are concerned about the others who are on a lower level than them. They do not want the others to feel bad because of their stature. This is a necessity in the Pinoy culture to gain acceptance. Everyone knows you're smart, just don't rub it in our faces.
Stand out.
Coming from an overly populated third-world country however, we also have to stand out to have a competitive advantage over the others. We strive to have the best education (best at least to how far we can go mentally and most importantly, financially) and get prestigous degrees.
It is important in the Philippine culture to know where you are from, what is your position in society, and what can you do.
Fit in. Stand out.
Therefore, in the Philippine culture, marrying the two (Fitting in and standing out) is an imperative but is also a difficult art. Sometimes we get too competitive that we forget we are alienating ourselves from the group. In the same manner, we sometimes get too humble that we do not get what we deserve. Mastering both fitting in and standing out is a skill.
You have to find your edge so you would not get left behind but you must not be very eager to promote yourself so the society will not "excommunicate" you.
Fit in.
As I mentioned in a previous entry, we have a collectivist culture wherein the group should be the first priority over the individual. Thus, we try to deflect attention (unless you're Kris Aquino or KSP) and pretend that we are not all that.
In school, how many times did you hear someone say, "I did not study. I'm so dead." Then you find out he got an A in the exam. Or how many times have you praised someone for being talented and the response will be, "Hindi naman. (Not really)" Or how many times did you hear well-off people use self-depracating statements.
More often than not, these people who "try to look humble" are concerned about the others who are on a lower level than them. They do not want the others to feel bad because of their stature. This is a necessity in the Pinoy culture to gain acceptance. Everyone knows you're smart, just don't rub it in our faces.
Stand out.
Coming from an overly populated third-world country however, we also have to stand out to have a competitive advantage over the others. We strive to have the best education (best at least to how far we can go mentally and most importantly, financially) and get prestigous degrees.
It is important in the Philippine culture to know where you are from, what is your position in society, and what can you do.
Fit in. Stand out.
Therefore, in the Philippine culture, marrying the two (Fitting in and standing out) is an imperative but is also a difficult art. Sometimes we get too competitive that we forget we are alienating ourselves from the group. In the same manner, we sometimes get too humble that we do not get what we deserve. Mastering both fitting in and standing out is a skill.
You have to find your edge so you would not get left behind but you must not be very eager to promote yourself so the society will not "excommunicate" you.
This photo was taken in the Philippines. I just find it apt for this entry. :D
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Adobo Experiment
I've always wondered why Filipino dishes tastes so scrumptious when you're abroad.
When I was in Las Vegas 4 years ago, the taste of kaldereta and adobo in a Filipino restaurant tasted like heaven. I stopped thinking and focused on savoring every bit of that adobo. The same is the case everytime I eat a Filipino cuisine here in Budapest.
I came up with three hypotheses:
- Filipinos become better cooks abroad
- You just miss Filipino cuisine so every bite seem special
- They have better ingredients abroad
So I did a little experiment. Knowing that I'm probably the worst cook ever, I tried my hands cooking chicken adobo. If it'll taste like heaven, then the second hypothesis will most probably be correct. I also don't have the best ingredients since I settle for what is available and cheap so the third would not be a reason here.
Here's a look of the outcome:
It did not taste like heaven but it was close to it. :D So yes, I guess we just miss Filipino food so bad that when our toungue gets to feel that sensation of home once again, we feel like we're in heaven.
Then again, I might have just improved my cooking... NOT
When I was in Las Vegas 4 years ago, the taste of kaldereta and adobo in a Filipino restaurant tasted like heaven. I stopped thinking and focused on savoring every bit of that adobo. The same is the case everytime I eat a Filipino cuisine here in Budapest.
I came up with three hypotheses:
- Filipinos become better cooks abroad
- You just miss Filipino cuisine so every bite seem special
- They have better ingredients abroad
So I did a little experiment. Knowing that I'm probably the worst cook ever, I tried my hands cooking chicken adobo. If it'll taste like heaven, then the second hypothesis will most probably be correct. I also don't have the best ingredients since I settle for what is available and cheap so the third would not be a reason here.
Here's a look of the outcome:
With rice op kors!
It did not taste like heaven but it was close to it. :D So yes, I guess we just miss Filipino food so bad that when our toungue gets to feel that sensation of home once again, we feel like we're in heaven.
Then again, I might have just improved my cooking... NOT
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Vienting Out the Vienna Experience
Because we really wanted to take advantage of the holidays and because we know where to buy cheap transportation, we went straight to Vienna after Krakow. So, we've "VIEN" to Vienna. (get it, get it?)
While I really want to write something worthwhile about our experience there, all I could remember was how extravagant and luxurious their royalties were. After the depressing experience in Krakow, we were then shown rich-ass plates and linen in Vienna.
It's common knowledge that life is unfair. During the 40s, the Jews in Krakow were struggling just how to fit in a standing prison cell; while in the 19th century, Princess Sisi and her family had numerous larger-than-life mansions. The earlier's goal was to either survive or die quickly while the latter's depressing problem was that she had to smile in public. And because she did not like royalty even if she was royalty, museums were built after her.
I'm sorry. It just does not make sense. But I guess that's how life is. It is never a fair competition. Thus, the only reasonable competitor is yourself. It is not healthy to compare yourself to others because you are not on the same battlefield. No one is in the same battlefield. The only real challenge is to make yourself the best that you can be taking into consideration all your assets and liabilities.
While I really want to write something worthwhile about our experience there, all I could remember was how extravagant and luxurious their royalties were. After the depressing experience in Krakow, we were then shown rich-ass plates and linen in Vienna.
It's common knowledge that life is unfair. During the 40s, the Jews in Krakow were struggling just how to fit in a standing prison cell; while in the 19th century, Princess Sisi and her family had numerous larger-than-life mansions. The earlier's goal was to either survive or die quickly while the latter's depressing problem was that she had to smile in public. And because she did not like royalty even if she was royalty, museums were built after her.
I'm sorry. It just does not make sense. But I guess that's how life is. It is never a fair competition. Thus, the only reasonable competitor is yourself. It is not healthy to compare yourself to others because you are not on the same battlefield. No one is in the same battlefield. The only real challenge is to make yourself the best that you can be taking into consideration all your assets and liabilities.
This is how they set up royalty dinners.
This is how 3 students on a tight budget eat on a high-class restaurant:
3 people sharing one slice of cake.
3 people sharing one slice of cake.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Krakow's Cracked History
Because Hungary had a 2 day national holiday and our school decided to make it a week-long holiday, we traveled up north to Poland.
We went to Krakow and our hearts bled as we were exposed to Schindler's factory, Auswitch and Birkenau concentration camps.
It is normal to have such disdain and contempt towards Hitler but this tour actually made me respect him as a leader. Don't get me wrong, I hate him as much as you do (unless you're a Nazi) and I believe his views are sick and twisted.
But you got to give props to the guy's leadership. I mean to have stupid ideas like that and yet convince millions of Germans to follow you and even build allies from countries like Italy and Japan, you must have had mad persuasion skills brother.
He was able to fool the Jews by letting them literally pay for their own deaths through his well-thought out schemes. Sure, he must have had intelligent tacticians that did this for him but he was still the leader. He must have had some charisma to attract these brilliant people to work for him.
I still think that Hitler is one of the worst people to ever set foot on this world but he is an artist in his own right, a con-artist that is. If you want to improve your leadership skills and persuasion abilities, you might want to check him out as an example. Just don't get contorted ideas like him.
We went to Krakow and our hearts bled as we were exposed to Schindler's factory, Auswitch and Birkenau concentration camps.
It is normal to have such disdain and contempt towards Hitler but this tour actually made me respect him as a leader. Don't get me wrong, I hate him as much as you do (unless you're a Nazi) and I believe his views are sick and twisted.
But you got to give props to the guy's leadership. I mean to have stupid ideas like that and yet convince millions of Germans to follow you and even build allies from countries like Italy and Japan, you must have had mad persuasion skills brother.
He was able to fool the Jews by letting them literally pay for their own deaths through his well-thought out schemes. Sure, he must have had intelligent tacticians that did this for him but he was still the leader. He must have had some charisma to attract these brilliant people to work for him.
I still think that Hitler is one of the worst people to ever set foot on this world but he is an artist in his own right, a con-artist that is. If you want to improve your leadership skills and persuasion abilities, you might want to check him out as an example. Just don't get contorted ideas like him.
Some Jews paid for their train tickets to go to the concentration camps.
Prague-ing Rights for Czeching the Republic
We went to Prague for the Feb 26 weekend as back-packers. (Technically, I only brought a mini-sling-bag, so does that make me a sling-bagger?)
It amazes me how the aura of the people in Prague differs to that of the Hungarians, despite their geographical proximity.
Hungarians are generally reserved and serious. When you buy something in a restaurant, they just want to get the transaction over with. (Of course, there are exceptions) This is not necessarily a bad thing because it makes things more efficient.
The people in Prague however are generally warm. When you order in a restaurant, they try to initiate a conversation with you. I don't think it's because the Czechs are better English-speakers; because there were those that didn't speak English well that still tried to talk to us.
I don't know if it's because of the difference in history, income, tourists-exposure, or culture. All I know is there is a difference.
The main point is that there is a variety of cultures out there. Not all Central Europeans act the same way. Just because they are generally Caucasians who live in Central Europe, doesn't mean they act the same way.
Even Hungarians have different sub-cultures. Not all of them dread the past, as what they are stereotyped to be.
In conclusion, I'm Prague-ing that I've been to Prague. :))
Special shout out to Kristian of Hostel Downtown for having the energy to entertain us.
It amazes me how the aura of the people in Prague differs to that of the Hungarians, despite their geographical proximity.
Hungarians are generally reserved and serious. When you buy something in a restaurant, they just want to get the transaction over with. (Of course, there are exceptions) This is not necessarily a bad thing because it makes things more efficient.
The people in Prague however are generally warm. When you order in a restaurant, they try to initiate a conversation with you. I don't think it's because the Czechs are better English-speakers; because there were those that didn't speak English well that still tried to talk to us.
I don't know if it's because of the difference in history, income, tourists-exposure, or culture. All I know is there is a difference.
The main point is that there is a variety of cultures out there. Not all Central Europeans act the same way. Just because they are generally Caucasians who live in Central Europe, doesn't mean they act the same way.
Even Hungarians have different sub-cultures. Not all of them dread the past, as what they are stereotyped to be.
In conclusion, I'm Prague-ing that I've been to Prague. :))
Special shout out to Kristian of Hostel Downtown for having the energy to entertain us.
This does not do justice to how beautiful this place was
Parang Ilog Pasig lang... 200 years ago.
Pinoys Togeder Poreber
Filipinos (or Philippians as how they call us), like most Asians, have a collectivist culture. That means they always stick together and got each others' back. Sometimes, personal satisfaction are sacrificed for the benefit of the group.
This is not unique to Filipinos. Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, and others also stick to each other. In some aspects, their collectivist culture is stronger than ours.
But what I really find unique for most Filipinos is when they see another Filipino abroad, they have the need to talk to each other even if they do not know one another. It seems obligatory to initiate a conversation which usually starts with, "Pinoy?"
It must be that aching desire to talk Tagalog (Filipino to be politically correct), Bisaya, Ilonggo, or Waray once again. Some Filipinos are now fluent in speaking the language of the country they are in but it always feel great to say, "Hay nako, diba ate?"
Filipinos, also speak their native tounge better when they are in another country. When you're in Manila, you rarely hear someone speak straight Tagalog. Tag-lish is the common vernacular; while Jejespeak is another irritating topic. This must be due to the fact that when Filipinos talk Tagalog abroad, they do not want the others to understand what they are talking about, even if the others don't really care.
"Kapag nasa Pilipinas ka, nakaririnig ka nga ba talaga ng taong nagsasalita ng tuwid na Tagalog o sabihin na nating Bisaya? Bihira ang mga taong hiyang at matatas sa wikang Pilipino. I know right."
This is not unique to Filipinos. Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, and others also stick to each other. In some aspects, their collectivist culture is stronger than ours.
But what I really find unique for most Filipinos is when they see another Filipino abroad, they have the need to talk to each other even if they do not know one another. It seems obligatory to initiate a conversation which usually starts with, "Pinoy?"
It must be that aching desire to talk Tagalog (Filipino to be politically correct), Bisaya, Ilonggo, or Waray once again. Some Filipinos are now fluent in speaking the language of the country they are in but it always feel great to say, "Hay nako, diba ate?"
Filipinos, also speak their native tounge better when they are in another country. When you're in Manila, you rarely hear someone speak straight Tagalog. Tag-lish is the common vernacular; while Jejespeak is another irritating topic. This must be due to the fact that when Filipinos talk Tagalog abroad, they do not want the others to understand what they are talking about, even if the others don't really care.
"Kapag nasa Pilipinas ka, nakaririnig ka nga ba talaga ng taong nagsasalita ng tuwid na Tagalog o sabihin na nating Bisaya? Bihira ang mga taong hiyang at matatas sa wikang Pilipino. I know right."
Eh, Taga saan ka sa aten te?
Of Travelling and Relationships
According to experts, you undergo 5 phases of Culture Shock Adjustment as you travel to another country
Stage 1 - Excitement
You get fascinated that you are in a different country. You appreciate everything there is to offer and while you may see a few glitches here and there, you let go of them
Stage 2 - Crisis Period
You begin to realize that the country you are in isn't all that. The glitches now become obstructions.You get irritated more than ever.
Stage 3 - Adjustment
This is the part where you now accept the negative aspects of the country you are in and adjust accordingly.
Stage 4 - Adaptation
The country you are in now feels like home.
Stage 5 - Re-entry Stage
You go back to your home country and this could result into a positive or negative feeling. For others, they do not go back.
I believe that you undergo the same phases when you enter into a relationship
Stage 1 - Excitement
"She plays football, oh wow!" As if you love football! But it does not matter, you just appreciate and appreciate. If you get lucky, you enter into a relationship with her.
Stage 2 - Crisis
"How could you not like dogs?" Opinionated now becomes know-it-all, funny now becomes non-serious, and pushy now becomes nagger. Oh, such a tough stage!
Stage 3 - Adjustment
"Fine, let's compromise." This is the part where you now accept the other for who she is and give up a part of yourself. Wow, "give up". Such strong words but true.
Stage 4 - Adaptation
"I love you." Need I say more?
Stage 5 - Re-entry
"Will you marry me?" or "We need to talk..."
I don't want to sound like an expert. After all, I've only been in one serious relationship and a few, well I don't even know what you call it. But I do know about back-packing as I have visited a few countries now.
Back-packers are the best because they do not spend much money when they visit a country. They keep a tight budget by staying in hostels, taking public transpo, and handing out miniscule or zero tips. They dont stay long in one country so they only get the excitement phase. They only take the positives and leave.
A major caveat though is this can be very tiring. Travelling from one country to another and being always on the go wears out your body. Thus, back-packing is only for the strong, smart, and young.
After a tiring travel, you still search for one stable country to always come home to. Only, in relationships, a stable partner may not allow you to back-pack.
Stage 1 - Excitement
You get fascinated that you are in a different country. You appreciate everything there is to offer and while you may see a few glitches here and there, you let go of them
Stage 2 - Crisis Period
You begin to realize that the country you are in isn't all that. The glitches now become obstructions.You get irritated more than ever.
Stage 3 - Adjustment
This is the part where you now accept the negative aspects of the country you are in and adjust accordingly.
Stage 4 - Adaptation
The country you are in now feels like home.
Stage 5 - Re-entry Stage
You go back to your home country and this could result into a positive or negative feeling. For others, they do not go back.
I believe that you undergo the same phases when you enter into a relationship
Stage 1 - Excitement
"She plays football, oh wow!" As if you love football! But it does not matter, you just appreciate and appreciate. If you get lucky, you enter into a relationship with her.
Stage 2 - Crisis
"How could you not like dogs?" Opinionated now becomes know-it-all, funny now becomes non-serious, and pushy now becomes nagger. Oh, such a tough stage!
Stage 3 - Adjustment
"Fine, let's compromise." This is the part where you now accept the other for who she is and give up a part of yourself. Wow, "give up". Such strong words but true.
Stage 4 - Adaptation
"I love you." Need I say more?
Stage 5 - Re-entry
"Will you marry me?" or "We need to talk..."
I don't want to sound like an expert. After all, I've only been in one serious relationship and a few, well I don't even know what you call it. But I do know about back-packing as I have visited a few countries now.
Back-packers are the best because they do not spend much money when they visit a country. They keep a tight budget by staying in hostels, taking public transpo, and handing out miniscule or zero tips. They dont stay long in one country so they only get the excitement phase. They only take the positives and leave.
A major caveat though is this can be very tiring. Travelling from one country to another and being always on the go wears out your body. Thus, back-packing is only for the strong, smart, and young.
After a tiring travel, you still search for one stable country to always come home to. Only, in relationships, a stable partner may not allow you to back-pack.
Back-packers' BFF
Better Late than Pregnant.
I'm 2 months late from the original plan of launching this blog. I was supposed to start blogging as soon as I got here in Budapest.
Unfortunately, I got into a sporting accident a week before my scheduled flight, which caused a tear on my right shoulder. Long story short, I had an operation and had to wear a sling flying here to Budapest.
I was really at my weekest, physically, flying here to Budapest. Imagine carrying a dead-arm with you. Ironically, I felt stronger than ever, mentally and emotionally that is.
I was told by people that I had an option of not continuing my studies abroad for now as I was really week. Post-surgery, patients are supposed to undergo rehab and I was not sure I could get a rehab doctor in a non-English speaking country (well, generally non-English speaking).
But I was determined, I dont want to go on with life thinking "what if?" I researched on how to do self-rehab (and mind you, I made a lot of mistakes which scared the sh*t out of me) and with the help of my mom and my aunt doctor, I had 4 weeks of doing self-rehab. After which, I found a kind Hungarian physical therapist, who may not speak English but is really great at playing charades. :))
And because of this accident, I really felt loved by the people around me. I guess its really during the low points of your life that you'll know who are the people that truly love you.
Special thanks to my mom who went out of her way and did everything she could to help me. If she could only keep me as a baby, she would; but she understands that I need to grow as a person so she trusts and supports me in whatever I do. Also, a special shout out to my mom's sister who has always been there to encourage me and help my mom in everything. And of course, thank you to the rest of my family, relatives, and my ever-loyal friends (y'all know who you are).
So, long story short, I had an accident so it was pretty difficult for me to write blah blah blah. But here I am now. This blog will be about my learnings as a young adult going around Europe.
Unfortunately, I got into a sporting accident a week before my scheduled flight, which caused a tear on my right shoulder. Long story short, I had an operation and had to wear a sling flying here to Budapest.
I was really at my weekest, physically, flying here to Budapest. Imagine carrying a dead-arm with you. Ironically, I felt stronger than ever, mentally and emotionally that is.
I was told by people that I had an option of not continuing my studies abroad for now as I was really week. Post-surgery, patients are supposed to undergo rehab and I was not sure I could get a rehab doctor in a non-English speaking country (well, generally non-English speaking).
But I was determined, I dont want to go on with life thinking "what if?" I researched on how to do self-rehab (and mind you, I made a lot of mistakes which scared the sh*t out of me) and with the help of my mom and my aunt doctor, I had 4 weeks of doing self-rehab. After which, I found a kind Hungarian physical therapist, who may not speak English but is really great at playing charades. :))
And because of this accident, I really felt loved by the people around me. I guess its really during the low points of your life that you'll know who are the people that truly love you.
Special thanks to my mom who went out of her way and did everything she could to help me. If she could only keep me as a baby, she would; but she understands that I need to grow as a person so she trusts and supports me in whatever I do. Also, a special shout out to my mom's sister who has always been there to encourage me and help my mom in everything. And of course, thank you to the rest of my family, relatives, and my ever-loyal friends (y'all know who you are).
So, long story short, I had an accident so it was pretty difficult for me to write blah blah blah. But here I am now. This blog will be about my learnings as a young adult going around Europe.
Yes, I was advertising COI here in Budapest. Hahaha.
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